Wrestlemania 34 is right around the corner, which means I have the rare opportunity of putting down in words what I think about someone else’s wrestling card and dissecting it up and down, if that is my choosing.
God, it’s refreshing.
Well, we’ve only been headed here for 3 years. And no wrestling websites have ever debated this match. I’ll spare you the intricacies of how Roman has to win to make all the investment in him make sense. Plus, there’s a chance Brock is leaving, which immediately makes him an even likelier loser.
Let me just use my favorite Brock & Roman pic to soothe your visual appetite for images on written articles.
What Will Happen: Reigns wins. No one will be shocked.
What Should Happen: With Styles/Nakamura and Daniel Bryan on the card, WWE should consider not closing Mania with this match, as it seems tailor-made to be buried in a quicksand of smark boos, no matter how good of a performer Reigns is (and he is) or how motivated Brock shows up. There’s a high price to pay for being force-fed a performer 3 years on end.
Nakamura winning seems equally inevitable… and the logical step. AJ is as proven a commodity – not to mention, over with the crowd – as he’ll ever be, and Shinsuke has a lot more to win (in credibility and popularity) with a victory than does Styles.
What Will Happen: A Super, Atomic, Modified Kinshasa should do it, after a very ambitious back-and-forth match, that surpasses their WrestleKingdom match, which was very good, but not earth-shattering. And these two can probably come up with earth-shattering here.
What Should Happen: Everything mentioned above. And they should close the show. And, should they match up again, please put some more thought into the buildup.
Ronda’s hit-and-miss first weeks on the job will culminate in a very important test. She will be surrounded by veterans in Triple H and Kurt Angle. She’ll have a heat magnet in Stephanie McMahon to work with. WWE should go “all in” on Rousey here.
What Will Happen: Trips will get suplexed, put in an armbar, you name it. Rousey will look down and realize she was put over to the moon. Angle will sideline a game Connecticut Blueblood to make way for Ronda tapping Stephanie.
What Should Happen: Ronda should tap Trips, so Sting, Booker T and RVD can enjoy the show.
This is a match where I’m split on the finish. The obvious choice for me is Asuka getting a clean but extremely hard-fought win, as these two have a tremendous amount of potential when it comes to their match quality.
What Will Happen: Not even Charlotte is ready for Asuka. Carmella is nowhere to be seen. And rightfully so.
What Should Happen: Asuka wins, defends the title 48 hours later on Smackdown against a lower-tier performer. Carmella cashes in, turns it into a triple threat, beats the lower-tier performer. A variation of this would be for Charlotte to be seriously injured at Mania, but go through with the match, only for Carmella to smell blood and cash in. But I’d steer Carmella clear of this match. Let the workers do their thing.
It’s tempting to think about this match closing the show, as Bryan will be over like he was at Wrestlemania 30. However, that spot should go to either Styles/Nakamura, for their match quality potential, or Brock/Roman, for how the ending of the match will make Vince’s grapefruits empty.
What Will Happen: Bryan will get a hot tag and clean house. And everyone’s grapefruits will empty.
What Should Happen: We should all get a lot of Kleenexes. Or socks. Well, something.
Along with Styles/Nakamura, this the match that has me the most curious for the pro wrestling in and of itself. If Miz isn’t world champion within the next 12-18 months, it’s because he’s injured or Vince really doesn’t have a clue. Rollins and Finn have been perfect foils for one another and you can tell they will be feuding long after this match is over.
What Will Happen: Miz is dropping the title. To whom, it really doesn’t matter.
What Should Happen: Prince Nevitt wins. As Balor has been showing up Rollins, it makes sense that he be the victor, in order to make Rollins “climb the mountain” and defeat Finn by the end of their program. Miz? He should move up.
Adding Rusev to the match gives it newfound momentum, as the triple threat would be not only repetitive of the much-more interesting Intercontinental Title Match, but gives a (spontaneous, grassroots) fan favourite something to sink his teeth into.
What Will Happen: I have no idea. Unless they’re thinking of giving Rusev his moment, neither Orton, Roode or Mahal benefit greatly from a win here.
What Should Happen: Rusev wins, even if he loses 48 hours later.
The unnamed partner could be anybody or nobody, from a heavy hitter, to a jobber, to literally nobody. It’s quite irrelevant. Strowman is getting a deserved Wrestlemania moment and Cesaro and Sheamus are top people to help him get it.
What Will Happen: The Bar is getting these hands.
What Should Happen: My instincts tell me Braun is getting a weakling partner, which should make for an interesting tag team run, where you know Braun can annihilate the competition, but he has to get the tag first. Having him team with another giant can also work, as it can pave the way for a singles feud, when said giant is fed up with Braun kicking all the ass and getting all the credit.
If Carmella can cash in on the Raw title, that could be a possibility. But, again, this should be Nia’s moment. She’s been a strong performer through and through, even though she hasn’t been getting the best of ideas to work with. And Bliss is the perfect chickenshit-yet-devious heel to give Nia her moment.
What Will Happen: Alexa is getting these (soft lady) hands.
What Should Happen: Just that.
Cedric Alexander def. Mustafa Ali (For the Cruiserweight Title)
The Usos def. The New Day & The Bludgeon Brothers (For the Smackdown Tag Team Titles)
Becky Lynch eliminates both Sasha and Bayley to win the Mool — Women’s Battle Royal
The Andre the Giant Battle Royal? Just give it to someone who’s worked their ass off. Or have Rusev lose the US Title match and win here.
Have a good Mania weekend!