What is heelbook?
It’s Facebook after becoming frustrated with its standing in social media, seeing the light, and hitting its best friend with a chair.
I thought you only supported the heels. Why so much love for Daniel Bryan and CM Punk?
Because as a heel, I have impeccable taste.
Is heelbook an Articles/Memes page or a Wrestling Shirts page?
It’s both. heelbook is like Thurman “Sparky” Plugg. Dual-sport superstar. (Google it!)
Do you read every message, post, tweet, video people send you?
I do my absolute best to make sure that’s the case. But I do let a few things slide, because heelbook is a big ship and I’m just a country doctor.
Any wrestling pages you recommend?
Let’s just say “It’s good to be back here at the Silverdome.”
Why am I seeing sponsorships and/or advertisements when I check out heelbook?
Long version: I’m trying to make heelbook work, not just in a “making you laugh” way, but also in a “I wanna make this a full-time job and return to the corporate world no more” way. I’ll try to make any sponsorships or advertisements not take away from the funny stuff as much as possible.
Short, pro wrestling version: I sold out.
Can you make me laugh? Sure. Click here.
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I have an idea I’d like to run by you. How do I get in touch?
Use the “Contact” button on the menu bar. I frequently check Twitter, Facebook and email. Whether it’s an idea for a meme, a video or an article, I’ll take the time to read your idea and think about it. If I think it’s a fit for heelbook, I’ll run with it. If I don’t, I’ll let you know just the same.
Do you credit me as the creator?
I’ll definitely say “Thank you” in the post, regardless of if it was your creation, if you gave the idea or whatever it is. If it’s your doing, I’ll acknowledge it. I’m a heel, not a douche. If you notice I didn’t credit you, call me on it (a direct message, tweet or email is best) so I can do something about it. Use the “Contact” button.
I wrapped up work on a project, article, video, meme I think you’d like. How do I share it with you?
Same thing. Just use whichever option on the “Contact” button in the menu bar. Tell me about your stuff and if I think it makes sense for heelbook, I’ll definitely help you get the word out.
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How do I get into the Heel Hall of Fame?
Send me a pic of you with a heelbook shirt or other heelbook merchandise, via Facebook, Twitter or email (check the “Contact” button). You’ll be in before you know it. You can even be like Ric Flair and get inducted more than once.
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What is The Heel List?
It refers to all the good (heel) people who follow my emails. I send out a few jokes via email – some even include the option of contributing to it and I select a few of your ideas to include if the joke ends up posted on heelbook. The emails will also include a few things about discounts on heelbook merchandise to make sure you don’t miss any of them.
How do I subscribe? Just go here.
How do I unsubscribe? You have to fill out 150 forms and print them out in light blue paper. Nah, every email you receive from heelbook has a “Turn babyface and unsubscribe” option. Plan B: send me a message saying you want out, letting me know what your email is, and I’ll take care of it for you.
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How can I get a heelbook shirt and/or other merchandise?
Can I make my own shirt?
Why, yes. You can. Wow, great question, glad you asked (weird, sometimes it feels like I’m the one writing the questions). OK, so here’s the deal, if you go to the “Make Your Own” button on the menu bar, you’ll get 2 options:
– “Create From Scratch”, which leads you to a designer app where you (exactly) design every single thing on your very own shirt, hoodie, long-sleeve shirt, phone case, cap, you name it. – “Personalize” gives you the chance to take certain heelbook shirts and give them your personal touch, by entering your name and other good stuff from your heel mind into the designs.
When do you give out bonus downloads?
When you send me your order number. And on other occasions, at my sole discretion. I have creative control, brother.
What is Spreadshirt?
Spreadshirt is my partner in crime. They handle all the printing, shipping and delivery. They do a great job – in my heel opinion (IMHO) – and have an easy-going and very useful customer service, which means I can focus on making memes, writing articles, thinking of videos and designs… basically, making you laugh (or very depressed if a worker happens to lose a title).
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What regions/countries do you ship to?
How much are your shipping costs?
It’ll depend on your exact location – which you input when ordering – and the store you order from. You can do a simulation yourself to get the precise value by adding an item to your shopping basket and entering your address. Or… you can get a pretty good reference from these lists of shipping costs: one for the US Store, and another for the UK Store.
You have 2 stores instead of one. How do I know if I’m supposed to go to the US store or the UK store?
If you’re in North America, go to the US Store. If you’re in the UK or Europe, go to the UK Store. For other countries, my advice is check both stores, and here’s why: the shipping costs and delivery estimates vary and the only way to be 100% sure what’s the best solution for you is to quickly check them both, like you would Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk. If you’re not sure which is best for you, just message me. Click the “Contact” button in the menu bar and get ahold of me, and I’ll help you directly. Rule of thumb though: if you order from the UK Store, shipping is a bit more expensive but the delivery will be quicker. The opposite is true for the US Store: cheaper shipping, but will also take longer. Remember, like I mentioned in the above question, you can check a shipping cost list for the US Store and the UK Store.
Does any kind of fee apply besides shipping? Normally, no. But some countries, like Brazil, have custom/import taxes, so do your heel homework before ordering.
What merchandise does heelbook have? T-Shirts are the core product, and the store has a few others (hoodies, long-sleeve shirts). But… if you use the “Make Your Own” > “Design From Scratch” option, you’ll not only be able to design a t-shirt, but also create your own hoodie, polo shirt, cellphone case, cap, you name it.
I found an item that is on one store but not on the other. Why? This is rare. It means that either 1) my partner Spreadshirt only agreed to have that item in one of the stores or 2) the printing and resources necessary to make a certain product happen is only available at the one store, not the other. So, if you want an item that is only available in the store that’s the farthest away from your location, talk to me and I’ll hook you up with a discount.
Is heelbook legit, trustworthy? Can’t blaim you for asking. After all –> “Heel”-book <– If you’re unsure about ordering something, the best thing I can tell you is to check out the “Heel Hall of Fame” button. There are a lot of photos of good people wearing the shirts and a few more things I won’t spoil for you. I also have to thank Spreadshirt for being a trustworthy partner. Should it be important to you, they have a pretty straight-forward return policy and are very available by phone and email.
I want a T-shirt that’s no longer at the store. How do I get it? From time to time, some shirts are retired to make room for new ones. If you want a retired shirt, send me a message on Facebook with:
– your country
– your shirt size and color
– the design you want
You can view the Retired Heel Shirts gallery here.
Do actual designs differ from the ones I see in the store? Very rarely. This happens because there are inevitable differences between the colors used in design applications (like Illustrator and Photoshop) and the colors available for printing. This happens to everyone and it doesn’t take away from you getting a kick out of your shirt.
Can I return an item? You can, under certain conditions – meaning, within reason. If you want the details, send me a message and I’ll get you the return policy from Spreadshirt to read. You’ll be better informed and way better positioned to battle any lingering insomnia. It’s that good of a read.
Any advice on how to wash the shirts I get? Just read the instructions in the package you receive with your shirt, Mr. Phelps. It’s all there.
I’m a heel, so I have grievances, complaints and general nagging to get out of my system. Do you mind?
Go right ahead. Message me on Facebook, Twitter or the Contact page and I’ll help with whatever I can. If your question is about merchandise you received, I’ll help you with talking to Spreadshirt, since they’ll handle any issues that come up with the merch directly, to save you (and – I won’t lie – me) time and effort.
I want to get my product/service/website out there and sponsor heelbook. Do I just get in touch?
Yip, pretty much. Use the “Contact” page and get ahold of me and we’ll talk about what you have in mind.
What’s the sponsorship fee, ya vultures? Since the revamped version of heelbook.com is barely out of NXT, we’re taking it slow. So we’ll figure out a (more than) reasonable number with you.
I want my sponsorship to be tailor-made for my brand. Can you do it, Dodgers? Awesome, sounds like fun. We can work together to figure out what works best for you and for the heelbook crowd.